To Whoever Finds Me Dead
by Moonlight Walker
Summary: Panzy leaves a note for her mother to finds after committing suicide. based on true events... Rated K for death


_Authors Note: This story line is based on actual events in my life, and is just changed with different names for Harry Potter characters in it._

_MoonlightWalker_

_To Whoever Finds This,March 13, 2006_

_To the person that finds this letter, thank you! If you have found this, it means that I am dead. I know it sounds lame, and like a Hollywood soap opera, but I couldn't do it anymore! The criticism from my mom, and my peers was too much to bear. And the worst of it all was that I couldn't do anything to make you all happy. Well I'm dead now. I hope you all are happy now. I just want to say, "I love you all very much, and I am watching over you always."_

_I Love You!_

_Love, _

♥ _Panzy Parkinson _

As I finished reading that tears came rolling down my face. What had I, her mother, Ruth, done to make her think that life as she knew it was worthless, and too much to bear? She really should have had nothing to complain about. I had given her everything she had ever wanted, if not more. Let me go back and try to remember what I had done wrong.

Panzy was a regular girl in a regular world. She was 4 ft. 10in. 125lbs, and she was 16 years old. She was heavyset for her height, and I reminded her of it everyday. At times she seemed to resent the motherly criticism. While other times, she embraced it.

What about the people at work that told me she was a great kid? I laughed in their faces and told them they hadn't seen the real Panzy. They had seen the, "I'm on my best behavior," Panzy I always told them about the fights we would have. Panzy would then somehow find out. The fact I had told complete strangers about her made her even more furious. Ok maybe I could see a little bit of what she was saying there.

Then there was her freshman year of high school. She started hanging out with a boy named Draco Malfoy. Panzy spent what seemed like everyday with Draco, and his family. It seemed like she had found a new family to replace me. After her father, Pat, and I divorced, she acted more distant towards me, and spending time with Draco was a new adventure for her. Draco was the troublemaker boy. There were very few times when the two of them wouldn't get into trouble. You couldn't find one without the other the whole summer after school either. When the new school year started it was like they were stuck together with superglue. But the last straw was one night when Draco, His girlfriend Michelle, his mom Narcissa, and Panzy went to Brunswick for a night of fun, and bowling. According to Panzy, she got to sing karaoke twice! That made her so excited and proud to think that she could do that and sound decent. They got back somewhere around 4:00 am. Panzy went to school the following Monday, then came home seven hours later as usual. But this time when I asked her how her day was she burst out into tears, and said something about how Draco was mad at her, but she wouldn't tell me anything else, and I left it at that.

Come to find out later, Panzy had told the whole high school that she had gotten drunk that past weekend. Narcissa confronted her about it this, and Panzy apologized to Narcissa profusely. But I didn't hear about this until at least 2 months later! The fortunate thing for her was that is was too late for me to punish her. Plus Panzy got enough stares from the other high students to punish her for a lifetime.

Could the whole myspace thing also have been a factor of her suicide as well? But that was just an internet site. For some reason it was very important to Panzy. She didn't understand that I was trying to keep her safe by banishing her from it until she moved out, and into a place of her own. I'm pretty positive that it wasn't too harsh at all. Though anything to a teenager is too harsh of a punishment.

Life is funny sometimes. It twists and turns so as to confuse people. Panzy hated them. She liked everything straightforward and simple. She had narrowed her life aspirations down to two things last I heard. She wanted to be a psychologist, and to meet her birth mother Tammy Wilson.

From the time she could talk, Panzy knew she was adopted. I don't think she fully grasped the concept of being adopted until she was thirteen years old. When she turned that age she started asking more and more questions about Tammy. Her psychologist advised me to tell her everything about Tammy. I did and that just led to even more questions. I even went so far as to give her the only picture that I had of Tammy. I told her that Tammy and I knew each other growing up. Panzy wanted to know everything about her. When I came to the part that no one knew where she was, or if she was even alive


End file.
